OOC TKC 2
by C00K13 QU33N
Summary: FINISHED! Yes, there's a second one! Anubis, Julius, Sadie, and Set are having to share a underworld house as Set needs a place to crash for the godly meeting and Sadie needs to keep an eye on him...this won't end well.
1. Chapter 1

**Aha, welcome to…OOC TKC 2! I know what you're thinking, "There's another one? HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!" but I just couldn't help myself ^^ I apologize in advance for crappy English terms and correct uses and such, I use Microsoft Word so it's not the best, PLUS I just lack a sense of grammar ^^" Enjoy! :D**

Julius and Anubis were sitting at the Hall of Judgment, bored as usual. They had recently hired a monkey butler (monkeys are so much more efficient than baboons) named Kaputi so the only noises to be heard were his occasional grunts as he cleaned the scales carefully. Every now and then, a loose scale would fall to the ground; the loud clang would jolt Julius from the sleep that he was falling into.

Anubis immediately claimed to sit on the floor in the morning, which was fine by Julius. He preferred the couch anyway.

"Say Anubis, I've got something to tell you…" Julius led off uneasily. The younger god was highly unpredictable, especially when it came to Sadie Kane. Thankfully, this had nothing to do with his daughter, plus, he had banned Anubis' stash of Sadie pictures.

There was, surprisingly, no response from Anubis.

"Anubis, did you hear me?"

Still nothing….

"ANUBIS, LISTEN UP!"

Kaputi screeched his dislike for loud noises (hypocrite) and loped away carelessly. As predicted, the boy/god/stalker remained silent.

Julius became frustrated and leaned over the couch he was sitting on to glare at Anubis. (**A/N NOW it gets OOC-ey and nutty ^^**) The god of funerals was busy trying to lick his elbow. Figures.

"How does Sadie do it?" Anubis muttered, only managing to lick the space above his elbow.

Julius pouted and threw a conveniently-placed dictionary at Anubis' head, "EAT LEARNING, DOG!" he yelled.

Anubis squealed, "WOOOOORDS!" and bolted away from the gloomy hall.

Kaputi returned and gestured in his direction, saying in monkey-language, "Are you sure he's sane?"

Julius shook his head, "Nope."

He then turned on heel and skipped away, but cut his arm off on another conveniently-placed pointy object. He just stared at the fountain of blood spouting from his non-arm saying, "Bloooood…"

"Ummm, are you okay?" Kaputi asked, pointing at what once was his arm, but was now a nub gushing blood.

Julius shrugged, "Just a flesh wound." He said, and ushered the monkey away.

He somehow grew back another arm in the time interval of fifteen seconds and was back to his ultra-happy self in no time. It was at that time that he decided to go find Anubis, even though he had run away about six days ago.

"Anuuuuubis!" he called, "Here, puppy, puppy, puppy!"

Sure enough, the god came bounding back with zest, "Ooooh, Julius, you'll never guess what I found!" he spoke with such excitement, it made Julius sick.

"What did you find?" he replied in a monotone.

To his surprise, Anubis held up a pair of lacey underwear. He giggled like a little kid and motioned for him to come closer. Julius remained petrified so Anubis leaned in to whisper, "They're Sadie's!"

"And how did you get them?" he asked with a strangled smile.

Anubis waved his hand dismissively, "I was watching Sadie in her room from afar-"

"You mean stalking."

"-and she left these on the floor. So I opened the window-"

"You mean broke into her house."

"-and borrowed them-"

"You mean stole."

"-the end!" He finished with a flourish of his hand.

Julius was pretty sure his eye twitched and sighed as Anubis held the undies as one would a child, "I'll never let them out of my sight…." He murmured dreamily.

"Don't you think you'd look kind of odd holding that?" he pointed out.

Anubis shrugged and started to skip away, pocketing the said item. In a haste to keep up, Julius fell flat on his face, "Oopsie, oopsie, Julie's gotta poopsey!" Anubis giggled, using that insufferable nickname.

"Annie peed his panties!" the older one retorted.

This match of childish name calling lasted so long; a referee appeared, as did an anxious crowd of people.

"Ummm, uh….Annie….ate a fanny? No, no, no! Annie had some plannies? No, no, no! Annie…Annie…Annie…" Julius struggled for the right words.

"TIME'S UP!" The referee yelled, blowing a whistle, "Anubis wins!"

The crowd of people cheered until the police hauled them away using snow-cones and pickles. Anubis offered celebratory ice cream. Julius wasted no time in accepting.

AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP…

"Hey Julius, what was it you wanted to tell me this morning?" Anubis asked through a mouthful of ice cream.

Julius froze, hoping he would've long since dropped the subject, "Erm…well…."

"Out with it!" Anubis coaxed, waving his ice cream around, as if that would help…

With a sigh of defeat, Julius looked Anubis in the eyes, "Your father is coming to town."


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two! If you guys want anything specific to be in upcoming chapters, feel free to request. In fact, that's how I added the man wearing a sombrero riding a llama last time XD**

Anubis' jaw nearly touched the floor. He quickly regained his composure and laughed, "Sorry, Julie, but for a minute it sounded like you said that my father was coming!"

Julius' eyes widened and he began to walk out of the ice cream shop. The cashier began to stop him, yelling, "You forgot to pay! You forgot to pay!" so Julius incinerated him into ashes.

Anubis, now concerned, trailed after him, "Wait… was that true? My father is actually coming?" his concern shifted to anger, "If that man sets foot in MY realm, I will burn him to a crisp!"

"(A) It's technically MY realm and (B) if you let him live, I'll give you Sadie pictures!" Julius bargained.

This caught Anubis' attention and he sighed, "Fine…but if he gets hit by a car I did NOT pay the man in the car to do it!" and on that conspicuous note, he skipped off.

A little bit later, they caught up to each other back at the underworld. Set was due to arrive in exactly five minute's time. Kaputi kept glancing between the two gods and swirling a finger around his temple. This went on for about ten seconds before Anubis muttered a spell that made the poor monkey vanish forever.

"And he was a good monkey butler to…" Julius mourned.

Anubis shrugged and held up the lacey underwear, examining it with frightening curiosity.

At that moment, Sadie came running in, pocketing her 'Anubis in the shower' picture, "Dad! Dad!" she yelled, "Have you seen my underwear?"

Anubis paled and threw the undies behind him and out the window, "Nope, now run along." He said as he ushered her out the door fake-laughing weakly.

"But Anubis," Sadie whined, "Dad said I could stay here while Set was here so he wouldn't do anything funny! (**A/N this takes place before Throne of Fire which explains the whole 'I still got Set's name HAHAHA!' thing**)

Anubis sighed and massaged his temples, "Fine…"

Sadie was halfway out the door when they heard a knock on the back-entrance of the underworldly house. Anubis cursed his father and let go of Sadie, inching towards the other door. Before he could touch the doorknob, the door flew open, "Brother! Son! Obnoxious little girl! Set's here, it's PARTY TIME!" Set stepped through the door wearing a sequined red disco suit.

Anubis' mouth twitched between a smile and a frown, "Alright, 'Father', if you're going to stay here, there are going to be a few rules." Anubis commanded, "1. Don't expect me to call you 'Daddykinz' or 'Popsie Wopsie' because it aint happening! 2. If I am to be seen in public with you, you MUST wear normal people clothes, not a bad mix between the train wreck of the 90s and 80s."

Set whined and removed the hippie wig and glasses he had begun to put on.

"3. If you even TOUCH my cream soda, I will force you to watch Justin Bieber attempt (and fail miserably) to dougie!" Anubis finished in a threatening tone, "Sadie, these rules go for you…except for number one, unless you expected me to call you that."

Sadie giggled and skipped away, singing Linkin Park.

"Alright, my boy, I can comply. Oh and why is Sadie here?" Set asked, bustin' a spinny move.

"Well, she has your name (**A/N Just in case you didn't see it before, this is BEFORE Throne of Fire**) so she's here to keep an eye on you." Julius said tensely, noting the dirty glares Anubis kept shooting Set.

Sadie skipped back into the room, holding a cream soda, "Yup! I got the power!"

O.o "That frightens me…" Anubis said.

Julius coughed and motioned for Set to continue.

Set thanked him and plastered a pout onto his face, "Awww, you guys really don't trust me?" he asked, looking at the three other people in the room.

"Nope."

"Nada."

"Don't even dream about it."

"Fine! I'll just go mourn in my room! Cry, cry, sob, cry, boo hoo, woe is me, sob, sniffle!" Set spoke the sadness effect noises dramatically.

As soon as he left the room, Anubis opened his mouth to speak. Set quickly stuck his head back into the room and shouted, "OH THE PAIN IN MY HEART!" before waltzing back into his own room.

Anubis' eye twitched, "As I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted; why is he here?"

Julius sighed, "There's going to be this big godly gathering and he needed a place to stay. What kind of brother would I be to make him sleep on the curb?"

"An awesome one." Anubis said seriously. Sadie and Julius gave him harsh looks, "What? You could take a video and post it on YouTube, YOU'D BE A LEGEND!"

"Anubis, go sit in the Chair of Shame." Julius instructed, pointing to a chair at the corner of the room.

"No, anything but the Chair of Shame!"

"CHAIR OF SHAME, NOW!"

Anubis pouted and stalked off into the shadows.

"Don't give me that look!" Julius yelled, "Anyway, Sadie, this godly gathering is a big deal. Normally, we let it slide and he goes off and does his who-knows-what, but this time we're discussing something very important…."

Sadie waited for around ten minutes while Julius sort of dazed off, "Ummm, Dad?"

Julius snapped to attention, "Huh, what? Oh, where was I?"

Sadie sighed, "Discussing something important…"

"Oh, yes, that. We were discussing something about cheese, I think… and _that's _why there are _pumpkins_." He finished.

O.o "Dad, you were talking about the godly meetings…"

"Oh, really? That sounds very interesting, why don't you tell me about that later?"

Sadie threw a cantaloupe at her father's head, "GAH, DAD, YOU'RE SO STUPID!"

"Nuh uh, you are!"

"You are!"

"Anubis is!"

"You better end that sentence with the word 'really sexy'!"

"That's two words, idiot! Wait, what did you say?"

Sadie paused, "Umm, nothing…OH LOOK THERE'S PIE!"

"LIES!"

"Well…I might've hinted that Anubis is sexy…"

"JKNFEHNJNAKSJFNJFEHBA!"

Anubis smirked over in the corner, "Well, it's perfectly reasonable for her to think that…."

Julius rounded on him, "SILENCE IN THE CORNER!"

Anubis shrunk down and muttered dark things, Julius caught the words 'Julius' 'jerk' 'corner' 'cake' and 'my little pony'. Julius sighed and shook his head, that poor boy was so confused…

Sadie winced at the tension, "Well, I'm going to see you guys tomorrow! I've got to go…torment Set about his sparkly suit! Ha ha ha ha!" She laughed weakly and ducked out of the room.

Julius looked at Anubis then at something on the floor. He swooped down to pick up that something and held it away from his body. He began to walk out of the room before stopping at the door and tossing something over his shoulder before walking on.

Anubis, puzzled, collected the discarded item before grinning widely and staring at it. He looked around to see if anyone was near, and pocketed the lacey underwear.


	3. Chapter 3

**LOL, what's with you guys and Charlie Sheen? XD What about how the world was supposed to end on the 21st? I called my pal and said, "So…the world's supposed to end in like five minutes…wanna grab some Brusters?" I suppose I'm ranting now, OH WELL! And for any Death Note fans that somehow happen to read this, I typed in Google, 'Mello likes chocolate' and it said below, 'Did you mean: Mello **_**loves**_** chocolate?' I just about died XDD! Again, I'm ranting. Sorry, force of habit ^^"**

**One last note…**

**FallingStar17: Where are the punctuation marks out of order? Let me know, 'cause I hate little imperfections like that ^^"**

**A**

**N**

**U**

**B**

**I**

**S**

I awoke to the noise of loud banging upstairs, along with the words, "Teach me how to dougie, teach me, teach me how to dougie-"

Annoyed, I put on my Michael Myers mask and crept down the hallway, clutching Sadie's underpants. As soon as I found the door that the noise led to, I froze. The music was coming from SET'S room! Fearing for my life, I peeked through the cracked doorway and immediately whipped out a video camera.

Set was dougieing.

Poorly.

The only coherent though in my head was: _This is soooo going on AFV._

After about five minutes of watching my father dance, I couldn't suppress a laugh any longer. It came out in a short burst of air, technically setting off a lit up sign with an arrow pointed at me saying, '**ANUBIS IS RIGHT HERE AND SPYING ON YOU**'. I cursed my bad luck and took off running down the hallway.

"GET BACK HERE, ANUBIS!" I heard Set scream.

In a flurry of actions, I took off my mask and chucked it at my father's face. _Bullseye, _I thought in satisfaction as the mask made a dull 'thump' sound on his face. Set let out a stream of rude words as he pried the mask off his face.

I passed one of those glowing digital clocks and backtracked to it, "Pretty lights…." I mumbled, poking the screen.

I was jolted from my stupor by my father's scream of rage. I turned around and he was literally RIGHT behind me. His chest heaved and his eyes were wild with fury.

"Ummm…hi, Pops! I'll just be going now so…" I inched my way back to my room.

He grabbed my wrist, "Give me. The tape." He demanded.

"What tape? What are you- OH, this tape?" I asked, pulling out my video camera, "Can do, here you go!" I threw it to him, "Now, I'll just be going…again…"

He stopped me again, tightening his grip on my wrist, "No, no, no, that isn't enough… I. Want. BLOOOOD!" then he lunged at me.

A father trying to kill his son…is it just me, or does something sound wrong with that sentence?

"What are you doing, Dad? Are you on drugs or something?" I tried to helplessly beat him away from me.

He looked sort of like a rabid raccoon, "I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available, because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. (**A/N That was for Charlie Sheen 2**)"

I blinked, "Ummm, I don't have any children…are you feeling okay?"

Set yelled and lunged at me…again, but a hand pulled him back, "Evil Day, I command you to STOP!"

He frowned and sulked away. I turned to Sadie, "Oh, thank gods; he was seriously trying to kill me!"

Sadie patted my hand, "Don't worry, that bad man will never touch you again." She soothed.

She then summoned a magical unicorn. It barfed up rainbows and farted butterflies before turning to me, "_Anubis…_" it said in a raspy voice, "_before you get on, I require payment for my services… that payment is…._"

It sort of lost its train of thought and zoned out on me. Sadie gave me a look that plainly said, '_Happens all the time_', "The payment is….." Sadie encouraged, motioning with her hands.

The unicorn jolted awake, "_Huh, what? When did you get here?...Oh, right. The payment is…women's underwear…_"

Sadie pouted, "What kind of payment is that? Why on earth would Anubis have women's under-"

I sheepishly pulled out the lacy undies, after seeing Sadie's look; I put up my hands, "I swear they aren't mine!"

"Suuure. Just give the unicorn the underwear." Sadie stated, rolling her eyes.

I handed the unicorn the undies, "_Thank you, Anubis…I'm not going to ask where the underwear came from…you may climb onto me…_" It said slowly, eating the undies.

"Ummm, you're welcome?" I said uncertainly, and jumped on its back. Sadie shortly followed and fastened her arms around my waist.

Both of our faces flushed in realization, "Erm, it's a safety precaution! Wouldn't want me falling off, would you?"

I nodded, "Yes that would be rather unfortunate…"

Without warning, the unicorn launched itself into the air. I slid backwards and tumbled into Sadie. She, too, was hanging on for dear life.

"ANUBIS, HOLD ONTO THE POTATO!" She yelled.

I gave her a strange look, "Sadie, are you feeling okay?" I asked, checking her for a fever with a thermometer I summoned out of the Medical Duat.

She slapped my hand away, "Anubis, I'm fine! In fact, I'm a little more worried about you. Why did you seem so confused when I mentioned Bob?"

"When you mentioned who?"

"Bob. The potato," She said slowly, "The. Magical. Potato. That. Lives. In. My. Underpants."

I did a double take, "The WHAT that lives in your WHAT?" Sadie opened her mouth to repeat it, but I clamped a hand over it, "Nonononononono! No need to repeat it! I'm just worrying for your sanity."

"No need to worry, 'Nubis!" Sadie said, smiling, "I'll introduce you!"

"Ahhh, no need for that either!"

In the air, odd objects will fly at you. For example: The barrel of coconuts that hit us in the face.

I batted them away, but Sadie stared at them in awe as they pummeled her face, "Hey, 'Nubis, did you know that more people have been killed by coconuts than sharks?"

At that moment, a shark slapped us in the face.

_Screw you, Karma. _I said inwardly.

At that moment, a box of screws hit us.

…_Never mind._

Sadie began rummaging around in her pants, "He's bound to be here somewhere…" She muttered. After a bit, she let out a triumphant roar, "Found him!" She exclaimed, holding up a lumpy object.

At a closer look, the object was indeed a potato. A moldy-looking potato with googly eyes glued on and a Sharpie mouth and nose.

I'm sure I had a FML look on my face when she said, "'Nubis, hold onto Bob! He will protect youuuuuuu!" she waved the insufferable vegetable in my face.

After a moment's consideration, she added, "He barfs cream soda."

"CREAM SODAAAAAAA!" I yelled, and grabbed the potato. He actually did barf cream soda.

I laughed like a madman and threw cream sodas in the air, "Wait!" I said with seriousness, "I must update my status!"

Then she had a FML face.

I whipped out my phone and logged on to Facebook:

**Hai guyzzzzzzz!1!1!1 Cream soda iz totes mgoats bein barfed up by a magik potatoe named Bob XDDD! Plus im ridin a unicron!1! PLUssS sadie kane iz totaly behind meh! OMGS SHE IZ SMEXYYYY!111!**

She peered over my shoulder, "Hey, 'Nubis, what is Facebook? Who would want to book their face?"

I shrugged and tossed my phone behind me, "LA LA LALA! LA LA LALA! ELMO'S WORLD!"

The unicorn suddenly went into a steep dive. I closed my eyes, "I'm thankful for my pet puppy named Oscar who died, like, ten years ago. I'm thankful for that taco that Horus gave me, even though it gave me food poisoning. I'm thankful for that microphone that Thoth shoved up my-"

"'Nubis, we're here!" Sadie exclaimed, shaking my arm.

"Since when have you started calling me ''Nubis' (** FAIL QUOTATION MARKS**)? And where exactly is here?"

"I think I started calling you that around 373 words ago, starting at the word 'me' then going backwards…." She put a hand to her chin in thought, "And here is home!"

I looked around and she was right. Bland, black, depressing stuff. Definitely home.

We got off the unicorn, fed it rainbow apples for its services, and bustled inside, "DADDIE, SET, WE'RE HOME!" Sadie yelled.

Set came by, carrying himself sluggishly. He gave me a mischievous look and tried to speak within my brain. I sighed and allowed him permission.

_So…Anubis, my boy…seems like you ran off with the Kane chick._

_Yup…_

_Saw your FB status, seems like you've got a thing for her…_

_I DON'T LIKE HER!_

_Then why did you use the word, 'Smexy', when describing her?_

_It's…..Mexican! For…nice?_

_Suuure, and I'm the god of chaos._

_Ummm, you are._

_DON'T YOU SASS ME, BOY!_

_Nehh :P_

_Fine, I'll go now._

_Good, but I've got a question. How did you see my status? I would never friend a scumbag like you._

_Remember that girl you friended, Tes?_

_Yeah…_

_That was me._

I paled.

_WTF YOU PERVERT, PRETENDING TO BE A FREAKING GIRL! BESIDES, 'TES' IS JUST 'SET' BACKWARDS; I FIGURED THAT OUT IN FIVE FREAKING SECONDS!_

_Huh, you never said anything about it…_

_I just…_

He gave me a final smirk and disconnected our thoughts. After seeing how red my face was from anger, he laughed and walked away.

Sadie butted in, "So…what was that about? You two had, like, a staring contest that lasted five minutes then you got angry and he walked away laughing."

I was about to lie about it when her dad game stumbling in, "Hey guys! Want to meet Phillip? He's this magical potato that lives in my underpants!"

**Anyone else hear about the Missouri tornado? It was really at my great grandmother's house… her house is in complete ruin, (keep in mind that she was AT HOME during the tornado) but she is perfectly fine. Friday, I might go down to Joplin to help clean up if I can…God bless Missouri!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'll try and get everything in there that was requested, but if it isn't what you wanted: TOO BAD. XD Just joking with you guys, you know I love you :P HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SCHOOL'S OUT NOW WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO! No more Social Studies with my boring, cranky, mean, old teacher (No offense, Mrs._)! *Sigh* As soon as we were let out, all the guys in my 8****th**** period started screaming like little girls and 'hooking up' for a 'totally radical' party. I swear all the guys at my school are retards. -.-**

**FallingStar17: Oh…yeah, I haven't quite learned that much in English yet ^^" I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, but thanks for telling me! As soon as I learn that, I'll start doing it, but 'till then, I'll keep to my wacky antics. XD**

**I'VE DECIDED TO GO WITH MUSEGIRL'S IDEA. THIS IS A (slightly) MUSICAL CHAPTER ~**

S O M E O N E S P O V

"Say, 'Nubis, I've been having the oddest feeling…" A confused Miss Sadie Kane confessed to an equally confused Mister Anubis No-Last-Name.

Anubis turned to her, blushing, "Me too…it's like…I need to…" he fought for the right words and began waving his hands around in exasperation.

Sadie calmly took his hand, "Sing." They said in perfect unison.

Set just so happened to be walking by at that time. He looked from his son to his probable future daughter-in-law, "You guys watch too much High School Musical."

"Well that's Julius' fault!" Anubis exclaimed. Then, he leaned in and whispered, "He has a thing for Zac Efron."

Set chuckled, "Wait 'till Isis hears about that."

Julius floated by in his underwear, "NOOOOOO!" He sang.

All three people in that room blinked and moved on, "So," Set said, "I heard you guys talkin' about wanting to sing…I want to know what you're takin' 'cause I WANT SOME OF THAT!"

Anubis facepalmed, "Out!" he commanded, gesturing to the door.

"But-"

"Out!"

"But-"

"GOSH DARN IT I SAID GET OUT!"

Set ran out of the room, screaming like a little girl. Sadie looked form the fuming god to the door that Set ran out of. She then grinned, "Hey, 'Nubis, wanna go bug-" She began to propose a plan.

"I bust the windows out ya car! And, no, it didn't mend my broken heart!" Anubis sang.

Sadie gave him a 'WTF' look and continued, "Ummm, wanna go-"

He stopped her, "You see you can't just play with peoples' feelings! Tell them you love them," He put a hand to his face, "and don't mean it!"

"ANUBIS! Stop singing and help me bug Set by switching his dougie videos with Dora the Explorer tapes! It's going to be AWESOME!" then she walked away before he could start singing again.

"I bust the windows out ya car!" he finished. (**That was for Vampy!**)

He looked around frantically, "Ooops, where's Sadie?" he said to himself, "GASP! The singing phase has already begun!"

Julius poked his head in through the door, "Did you just SAY 'gasp'?"

"Yeah, got a problem with that?"

"Nah, guess not." Then Julius walked away, probably to help Sadie in her shenanigans.

Anubis chuckled, "Shenanigans is such a funny word!" then he went off to find Sadie.

THREE HOURS LATER…

Anubis slumped to the floor, "Too," *cough*, "Much," *hack*, "Effort." *wheeze*

His ears perked up as he heard music coming from Set's room. Being the curious little blighter he is, he whipped out his video camera and inched forward. He heard voices laughing, Set's and Sadie's.

He looked through the keyhole and nearly exploded with laughter. Apparently, Set and Sadie were having some sort of dance-off. Anubis immediately turned on the video camera, and watched the show.

"You're taping it too?" Julius asked.

Anubis nearly jumped through the ceiling and turned to find a silently laughing Julius, "Gah that was freaky!"

Julius simply laughed again and held up his video camera, "These things are really useful, am I right? I saw that video on AFV of Set dougieing: PRICELESS!"

"Why thank you, my schemes are very time-consuming." Anubis admitted, bowing deeply.

"Do you even know what song they're dancing to?"

"I don't know… I haven't really gotten a listen…" Anubis frowned and put his ear to the keyhole.

"(**Again, this is for Vampy**) I'M A BANANA, I'M A BANANA, I'M A BANANA, LOOK AT ME MOVE! BANANA POWER, BANANA POWER, BANANA POWER-ER-ER!" At this point, Anubis was so mentally scarred, that he pulled away from the door, obviously stupefied.

"What is it?" Julius asked with concern.

Anubis' head lolled to a side, "Something about bananas, moving, and power….and more bananas."

"CHICKEN, CHICKEN, CHICKEN, I AM CHICKEN, CHICKEN GIRL!"

"Oh, and chicken girls…" Anubis added.

Julius' eyebrows furrowed, "Alright, out with it, what have you been smoking?"

"Weed, but that isn't the point!"

Before the older man could retaliate, the music stopped and the door opened, revealing the two guilty gods. Anubis' mouth gaped open, "Umm…yup, Julius, this door's alright too! Now let's get going!" he said, tapping the door then making a move to get up.

Sadie pushed on his head to seat him, "I think not, Death Boy."

Set waggled his finger, about to chide him, before he was taken over by a series of spasms, "OH MY GOSH HE'S HAVING A SEIZURE!" Sadie cried, running to a fire extinguisher, she read the label out loud, "Break glass in case of….emer…emergen….emeragen….emirgen…."

"Emergency?" Anubis helped.

"That's the word! Break glass in case of emergency." So she took a random sledgehammer from Anubis' pocket (how did it even get there? Lol) and smashed the glass. She then stared at the exposed fire extinguisher in a confused manner, "Okay, I broke the glass, now what?"

Meanwhile, Set was spinning in circles on the floor, jerking violently, making noises like, "Merp, meh, onomatopoeia, and ."

Julius pulled out one of those shocky-thingy-mebobbers and was attempting to 'revive' him or something. Sadie psh-ed and waggled a finger, "Electrocuting him won't make him any better, Pops."

Set slowly began to rise, "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S…." He sang.

Everyone leaned in, a bit perplexed as the man opened his mouth wider. His eyes grew rounder and more frantic looking. In all, it looked sort of like he was getting raped or something.

"FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY-Y!"

Anubis screamed, "It burns! It burns!" and ran out of the room.

Sadie sang along, "Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend!"

And Julius dropped dead (again) because of a bacon overdose.

TEN MINUTES LATER…

"Is he done?" Anubis asked, poking his head around the couch, wielding Bob the Potato.

Sadie nodded, yawning, "Yup, you should probably get to bed."

"Sadie, its only 7:00…IN THE FREAKING MORNING!" Anubis burst.

Sadie had a hormonal breakdown and cried herself to sleep that night-I mean-morning.

Julius came in, dancing oddly, singing, " (**Don't bug me if all the 'woo's are incorrect, these were on the internet, and they seem legit…kind of**)," Then he stopped and looked Anubis square in the eye, "Barbara Streisand." And then went on his way, singing more "woo"'s and bothering all three residents of the underworld house.

A realization hit poor Anubis, which made him want to go into 'emo mode' which he was often accused of being in (which is soooo not true!). That stupid godly meeting was tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

***Sigh* It makes me happy to read all my reviews from my faithful reviewers! ESPECIALLY the really confusing ones, such as:**

**XMythrilMist's review…ANUBIS IS MINE, SUCK IT!**

**Sunny404's review…I sure hope you're referring to the song.**

**Freak2's review…I've already done that, heard of TKC Discovers Fan Fiction? Lol**

**Alright, that's Anubis telling me to stop stalling, get on with the story, and work on adding Bill the Donkey in!**

**P.S. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, MUSEGIRL! :D**

**P.P.S. Do I have to put your names at the end of fulfilled requests? 'Cause it's tiring and I sure hope you would recognize what you requested… ^^"**

**P.P.P.S. I've thought about this for a long time, but why don't you have a FF account, Pony?**

"I DON'T WANNA GO!"

"I DON'T CARE, YOU HAVE TO!"

"NO!'

"YES!'

"I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THE CART!"

Julius paused and looked down at the squirming young god known as Anubis. He shook his head, silently laughing at the Monty Python reference, "We aren't riding in a cart, smart one, we're riding in your Ferrari (**remember Anubis' Ferrari from the first OOC TKC?**). So suck it up and get in the car."

Anubis pouted, "Don't make me go all emo on you again." And with a great look of defiance, he sat cross-legged on the floor in protest.

Set came by and sighed, "Not his 'emo mode'. The last thing I need to see today is Anubis wearing eyeliner and cutting his wrists."

Sadie also walked into the room, "But you've got to admit, he looks good with eyeliner." She said. Seeing all the odd looks shot her way, she screamed something along the lines of, "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!" and ran to the car.

Julius crossed his arms and looked down at Anubis. Seeing the young man's puppy eyes, he sighed in defeat, "You can stay here," Anubis began to cheer, but Julius held up a hand, "If! You get us a replacement butler; because it's your fault Kaputi is gone."

"Fine, but don't expect for the house to be spotless…"

Julius, knowing Anubis, didn't expect ANYTHING from the lazy dog god. In fact, it would be a miracle if he even got a replacement for Kaputi. Anubis waved goodbye and watched Set, Sadie, and Julius speed off down the road.

"Time to go get that replacement!" he thought cheerily to himself before skipping away.

SIX HOURS LATER….

"Anubis! We're home!" Set called, dropping his complementary bag in the jumbo cheese shredder. The bag said, "THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING THE MEETING, UNLIKE some GODS *cough* ANUBIS." Every time you opened it. Horus had designed it.

Sadie held a cute little stuffed jackal to her chest, it was for Anubis, "Hey, 'Nubis, I got something for you!" she sang in a cute little toddler voice.

"Dog Boy, you better have gotten a dang replacement!" Julius shouted.

Faint Miley Cyrus music could be heard floating down the hall. Set facepalmed, "I knew it! My son's a freaking pansy!"

Before another word could be said, Anubis came skidding down the hall, "Shhhh! The music's for Bill and you're being too loud!" he whisper-yelled, holding a finger to his lips.

Sadie cleared her throat, "Err-hem, 'Nubis!" he nodded for her to go on. She whipped the stuffed jackal out from behind her and presented it to him, "I got you this at the boring meeting!"

He got a bit choked up at that, "No one's ever gotten me a…present before."

"That's because you're a freak…" Set snickered.

Julius glared daggers at Set while Anubis graciously accepted the gift, "I name thee Anput!"

"Why that name?" Sadie asked, positively fuming.

Anubis shrugged, "It's my sister's name, and she likes jackals."

Sadie suddenly calmed down, "Okey dokey!" and she skipped away.

Julius eyed Anubis suspiciously, "Who was that Bill guy you were talking about?" he asked the god who was cuddling the jackal.

"Oh, Bill is our replacement! He's a donkey!" Anubis told him with too much excitement.

Set shook his head and mumbled, "Kids these days…" before walking off to get stoned for the night.

Julius took off down the hall and Anubis waved, "Whatever you do, don't turn off his Miley Cyrus!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't upset the donkey." The older god mumbled before swinging the door open.

Anubis had built a whole room for the blasted donkey.

A whole.

Effing.

Room.

It was nicer than Julius' room, gosh darn it! The infernal donkey was relaxing on a water bed. Playing music on a laptop. Miley effing Cyrus to be exact. _FML…_ Julius thought.

"Hee haw!" Bill greeted.

_I can't even understand a lousy word he says!_

Bill put on his poker face, "Hee haw, hee haw, hee haw, hee haw, hee haw, hee haw, hee haw, hee haw." He seemed to be listing things for…the house? The toilet? The refrigerator? The universe?

All he could do was nod numbly and pretend that he could understand.

Unhappy with the answer, Bill had a temper-tantrum, "HEE HAWWWWW!" he cried, bashing things with Harry Potter.

"I don't know what I'm doing here, but it's fun!" the Gryffindor student yelled over his spells.

Julius lost his temper, "If they were going to send one of these wussy magicians, they could've at least sent a better one. Like Sirius, or something! Plus, this isn't your story, so get out! The random author doesn't have time to make this a crossover!" he yelled.

Harry cried and teleported away, probably to go sleep with Draco (oh, you know they love each other!).

"Julie!" Anubis called, "Are you being nice to Bill?"

"Ummm, heh, yeah! Yeah, Bill's great! Right, Bill?" Julius called back nervously.

Bill gave a feeble, "Hee…."

"I'm not entirely convinced…."

"Nonononononono!" Julius panicked, "Everything's fine here!"

Anubis paused, "Okay, be good! I've got to go to the market to buy some tacos!"

"Why tacos?"

Set suddenly joined the conversation, "KEEP IT DOWN! I'M TRYIN' TO GET DRUNK OVER HERE!"

Julius sighed and whisper-yelled, "Why tacos?"

"Because Sadie likes tacos and I was so touched that she got me that present…"

"Awww, crushin' on my daughter, are we?" Julius snickered

"SHUT UP!"

Set's voice came back, "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE NOISE?"

Anubis whisper-yelled, "I mean, shut up! I'm going now, so be good!"

Julius turned to Bill and said in a menacing tone, "Listen here, toe rag, you'd better be a good butler. Or else."

Bill sort of rolled his eyes as if to say, "Or else, what?"

Julius put a finger to the window, "See that road kill there?"

Bill gulped and nodded (or whatever donkeys can do).

"If you make one false move…that will be you."

Bill's eyes widened (if they can).

"JULIUS! THEY WERE OUT OF TACOS AT THE STORE SO I'M BAAAACK!" Anubis yelled.

"CAN'T A MAN GET HIGH IN PEACE?" Set wailed and jumped out the window.

Julius flashed Bill a fake-smile and walked down to greet Anubis and yelled, "We can make cookies or something!" on his way down. In an undertone that only Bill could hear, he added, "Maybe even donkey…"


	6. Chapter 6

**C00K13 K1NG is officially helping me with this story! He's my brother :3 I had to make him an account this morning, so I demanded that I make his pen name. He's regretting that, I'm sure.**

**Musegirl: You must feel privileged because I'm letting you guest star :P But if you so much as TOUCH Anubis, you're going DOWN!**

A N U B I S P O V

I was having a crappy day.

First, Julius ate all the freaking Froot Loops.

Then, Set thought it would be funny to show Bill my stash of Sadie pictures.

Now some crazy chick by the name of MuseGirl barged into my house, plopped down on my favorite chair, and claimed that she was a guest star for this FanFiction thing.

WHAT THE CRAP IS FANFICTION?

Anyway, I was NOT going to let a GIRL weasel her way into my life. Especially not a girl who is intent on torturing me. I mean, that's just not right!

"…And that's why I'm here!" the little beast ended with a flourish. To be honest, I didn't even know she had started.

"Yes, well that's lovely and all, but I think you should get going!" I coaxed her out the door.

She grabbed my collar and gave me a threatening look, "I'm not going anywhere, insufferable little emo."

Before it could go any further, Set stepped in between us, "Hey, hey, hey, don't cause any bloodshed. That's my job."

She pouted and stuck her tongue at me. I growled and took back my seat before she could sit there.

Julius took the oddly peaceful opportunity to interrogate the girl, "You say that you're a guest star…a guest star for what, exactly?"

She smiled, "C00K13 QU33N and K1NG wouldn't want me to say too much…"

"Who and who?" Sadie asked, hands on her knees.

"The people in charge of this. Brother and sister." MuseGirl waved it aside as if it were no big deal.

I stood up, "I KNEW IT! I knew someone was controlling us or something!" I yelled triumphantly.

She glared at me, "Yup." She tilted her head to the sky, "Hey guys, make them do the Macarena!"

I leaned over to Sadie, "Why is she yelling at the sky?"

She began to answer, but she stopped and stood up. Shortly, we were all standing, shooting MuseGirl dirty looks.

Said person simply smiled and popped a CD into a forgotten CD player. Next thing I know, we all start dancing.

TEN MINUTES LATER…

"That. Was.-" I started.

"AWESOME!" Set yelled, still Macarena-ing.

I looked at him, "No. I was going to say, AWFUL!"

He psh-ed and Macarena-ed away.

MuseGirl came over to me, "Did you have fuuuuun?" she asked, grinning amusedly. I silently fumed. She leaned in closer to my ear, "Oh and I ate all the applesauce." She whispered before skipping out the door.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ATE ALL THE APPLESAUCE? I WILL KILL YOU!" I roared, clawing at the closed doorway.

Sadie tried to pull me back, "Anubis, she's gone! Calm down!"

I was too busy mumbling, "KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL…" to hear her.

A knock at the door petrified all residents. Everyone looked at me, as if to say, "You're opening it."

I sighed and opened the door slowly, "Hi Anubis, hi guys, I'm here to talk to Sadie!"

I growled. Great, just great, it was Walt. That stupid charm maker dude had been slowly stealing MY Sadie's heart.

Sadie gave him a quizzical look, "Hey Walt, do you need anything? If so, I'm sorry, because I was about to go help Anubis paint his car, so I can't really get to it now…"

Lies. But oh-so-sweet lies! Sadie Kane was lying to that loser to stay with me!

Walt seemed upset, "Oh, okay, I understand. Then, could I talk to Anubis?"

Loser, she just said that we were going to paint my car!

"Sure…" I said with a strangled smile.

He motioned for me to follow him and I reluctantly followed. He stopped at this shady-looking parking lot. I wasn't scared; I was a god after all. Plus, my whole life took place in shady-looking places.

"So, Anubis…" he led off nervously.

I rolled my eyes, "It's about Sadie, isn't it?"

Heh, that caught him off guard, "Umm, yeah. I was wondering…would you allow me to ask her for her hand in marriage?"

SHE'S THIRTEEN, IDIOT!

But I had to keep my cool, "Why would you ask me?"

"Well, you two are really good friends, I wanted to know if you were dating her first…"

Alright, that guy was really pushing my buttons.

"Dude, we've kissed. What do you think?"

Poor Walt's eyes widened so much, "Well, I-I've kissed her too!" he defended poorly.

"I KISSED HER FIRST, WALT! STICK THAT IN YOUR JUICE BOX AND SUCK IT!" I yelled, scaring the kid away.

"Yeah, that's what I thought…" I muttered, walking home.

AT HOME…

"Hey, 'Nubis, what did Walt want to talk to you about?" Sadie asked with eyes wide.

I waved it aside, "Oh, nothing, just some man-to-little boy talk…" I said, smirking.

Julius held a hand up, "I don't want to know, Anubis. Anyway, we have important matters to discuss… Matters so important, they may change your life…"

I looked at him, "You got new cowboy boots."

"Yes!"

Everyone began to wander away.

"No, that's not all!"

We reluctantly came back.

"The facts that MuseGirl came and that we did the Macarena MUST mean that someone's controlling us!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

Set rolled his eyes, "You're so full of it, Julie! MuseGirl was just some nutter with a big mouth and, secretly, I think we all wanted to do the Macarena."

"HEY, ONLY I CALL HIM JULIE!" I yelled.

My father stuck his tongue at me. Julius pointed at Set, "SET! CORNER OF SHAME! NOW!"

I snickered as he sulked away, "Have fun in the corner." I whispered, having too much experience there.

"I don't wanna be in the corner…" Set complained, "People write rude things over there!"

I gave him a look of disbelief.

"Okay, fine, maybe I wrote some of it…" he admitted.

"SILENCE IN THE CORNER!" Julius yelled.

Sadie held a hand up, "Maybe Dad was onto something! MuseGirl seemed awfully sure of herself, and we haven't been acting like ourselves lately…"

"I agree with Sadie!" I proclaimed, standing up, "But we can't ponder this with bleary eyes. We should all get some rest." Set began to stand up so I pointed at him, "Except you! You're going to spend a night in the corner…" I said, beginning to walk off.

"With the rats…"

**Vote on my profile: Who's your favorite TKC character? (C00K13 K1NG is not allowed to vote :P)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sadly, this will be the last chapter :'( No, I won't make ANOTHER one. Sorry, guys, but I'm officially out of ideas. Alright, enjoy the last chapter of OOC TKC 2.**

**MuseGirl: My brother told on you XD He DID suggest Anubis torture and I was like, "MuseGirl got to you, didn't she?" He caved. Yeah, I'm gooood.**

**Vampy: Well maybe the chair got tired of being a chair and wanted to be a corner so now it's a corner. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?**

"Hey, 'Nubis, there's mail for you!" Sadie claimed, throwing an envelope onto my lap.

I put down my cream soda and stared at the manila envelope:

**To: Anubis**

**From: MuseGirltheauthor**

Huh, so she's an author.

I opened it to read the context:

**Dearest emo Annie, **

Well that sounded friendly.

**You suck. I hate you and am glad you got to suffer. **

I was feelin' the love.

**I'm not the beast, you are, and did I mention you suck? **

Yes, yes you did.

'**Cause you do. If I ever see you again, I will cause bloodshed and Set will help.**

Psh.

**I hate you and you suck.**

Said that already.

**And you probably want to suck Walt's juice box.**

Whoa, keep it G-rated!

**You annoy me and are a moron. You didn't deserve the applesauce.**

LOSER! I DID TOO DESERVE THE APPLESAUCE!

**Love MuseGirl**

Hmmm, I'm not feeling the love.

**P.S. Did I say you suck? Because you do. A lot.**

Yeah, you mentioned that, like, three times.

Angsty little teen!

I crumbled the paper in my hand and fed it to Bill.

"GAH WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT CHICK?" I screamed in frustration.

Sadie held her hands up, "Don't look at me! And what was that about Walt and juiceboxes?"

I blushed, realizing that I had read the note out loud, "Ummm, nothing. OMIGOSH IT'S A GLOMPAPUS!"

"A what?" Julius asked, whirling around.

I was already gone.

On my way to the emergency-insanity-reliever-super-cool-place-of-awesomeness I ran into an odd little leprechaun on acid stumbling about. It took one look at me and threw a packet of skittles at me.

"Ow."

Then it threw a box of Lucky Charms at me.

"Double ow."

"TASTE THE FREAKIN' RAINBOW, ANNIE! IT'S MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!"

It ran of singing something about waffles and beer and I just stood there.

Munching on some Lucky Charms, I mused, "Hmm, I like the little rainbows…" before going to my room.

IN MY ROOM

"Oh Nick, why must you be so…how do mortals say it…yummalicious?" I said to a jumbo-sized poster of Nick Jonas.

"Hey, Anubis, Julie wanted me to give you-" Set stopped as soon as he walked inside the door.

I hastily pulled the rope that obscured my favorite Jonas from view, "Um…you didn't see aaaaanything!" I resorted to waving my hands around.

Set picked up a Nick bobble head and laughed, "No way…"

I gave him a look of warning, "Don't do it!"

"Oh, but I want to!"

"Don't!"

He heaved in a breath and screamed, "HOLY CRAP, SADIE, YOU HAVE TO SEE ANUBIS' ROOM!"

I covered my face with my hands, _Oh crud._

"What is it?" She asked.

Her eyes widened, "OHMYISIS I KNEW YOU WERE OBSESSED WITH NICK JONAS!" she thought for a bit, "Well, he is the greatest looking…"

"NO!" I objected, "It isn't Nick Jonas, I swear! It's…uh…It's Horus with long hair that he used my curling iron on!"

"Yeah, because that's sooo much better…"

Set chimed in, *cough, "Pansy." *cough*

Before I could knock him into next Tuesday, Sadie gave me an odd look, "What do you mean, 'that he used MY curling iron on'?"

_Oops._

I bolted for the door and took a Nick cardboard-cutout with me, "C'mon Nick, there's nowhere safe…" I muttered to him.

"Why are you hiding behind the coffee machine?" Julius asked.

I jumped so high, I think I deserved an Olympic gold medal, "Holy-what the-when-how-when did you get there!" I stammered.

He shrugged, "I saw the Nick cutout and I couldn't resist," he leaned closer and whispered, "I have a bit of a…thing for him too!"

"(a) I DON'T have a thing for him!" I started.

"In denial…" he whispered.

"(b) I thought you liked Zac Efron."

"I do, but Nick is equally…how you mortals say it…yummalicious!" He said.

I nodded, "That's what I thought."

Sadie came running in, "'Nubis, 'Nubis, Set took your Nick Pillow Pet!" she cried.

I snapped my fingers in a Z formation, "Oh no he di'int!" I said with a faint Jersey accent.

Sadie copied me and said, "Oh yes he di'id!"

I ran all the way to Set's room, where he was cooing to the Pillow Pet, "Don't you worry, Nickiekinz, that bad boy won't hurt you ever again!"

I did a battle cry and leaped at him, "GIVE NICK BACK!" I screamed, pulling at his hair.

"Make me!"

"I will!"

Nick split in two.

We stood there in shock at what had happened.

After a very long, pregnant silence, I pointed at him, "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"What I'VE done? You're the one that's obsessed with Nick!"

"Then why were you cooing to him?"

"'Cause he was stuck in a madhouse with you!"

Sadie came in, "Daddy made pasta!" she giggled.

I let go of my half of Nick and raced into the kitchen, "PASTA, PASTA, PASTA, PASTA!" I chanted, banging my fork and knife against the table.

Sadie helped me get on my bib that said 'FEED ME!' on it.

Julius brought the bowl of noodles and set it in front of me. I regarded the bowl in an odd manner and pushed it off the table, "THAT'S NOT PASTA, LOSER, THAT'S SPAGHETTI!" I screamed.

"Hey guys…" Set said quietly.

"SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO GO ON A RAMPAGE HERE!"

"Guys…"

Sadie screamed as spaghetti was flung into her hair.

"C'mon, guys!"

Julius tried to calm Bill as the donkey chased a meatball down the hall.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Set yelled as loud as he could.

The room quieted and I broke the silence, "Daddy got some backbone, eh?"

"SHUT UP, PANSY!"

I pouted and crossed my arms, "Phooey."

"Well then…what is it?" Sadie asked, feeding Bill Corn Puffs.

"I'm leaving today. The meeting's over, so I can go home now. I've got chaos to reign over and…and…and…" then he did the most unexpected thing in the world.

He started crying.

"I DON'T WANNA GO!" he wailed, blowing his nose loudly in Julius pocket hankie.

The little studio audience in my head went, "Awwww!"

We all had a big group hug and Julius proclaimed, "Set, Brother."

Sadie proclaimed, "Set, Archenemy."

I proclaimed, "Set, Daddykinz."

That sort of threw everyone off and I chuckled, "Dude, you can stay here!"

Set started crying again.

_Gee and he thinks I'M a pansy?_

**THE END! **

**I can't believe OOC TKC is over for good. *tear* Thanks to all the people that helped along the way especially MuseGirl for hating Anubis and Vampy for always giving ideas.**

**I have to take this cheesy moment to advertise something: Vote on my profile for your favorite TKC character! There's Khuuuuuufuuuu!**


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